I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
