no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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