i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
