Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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