"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
