Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
