Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
