hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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