So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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