I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
