There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
