So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
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I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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