I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
