i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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