So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
wow bdsm is so cute
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