How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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