everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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