if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
