Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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