I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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