Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize