YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
