Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
