he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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