I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
