It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize