I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
