dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My dick has a subreddit
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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