Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I need to stop coming to work sober
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
