What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
