i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
