If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
