It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can I color on your dick again?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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