You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize