why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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