Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He shit in the fireplace
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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