I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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