Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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