HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
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