So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
