Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
