Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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