I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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