it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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