there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
