I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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