Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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