guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
