dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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