I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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