I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
