There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
