I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
