I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
