i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
