i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
