u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize