for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
