If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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