The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
