I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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