he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize